I was blowing bubbles (or were bubbles blowing me?), when all of a sudden, as it often does, it hit me.
Not like a brick, mind, but rather like a silken feather; a tickle of awareness at once become an understanding.
Did someone say, or was it me, that real spirituality was not the accumulation of wisdom, experience or even awareness of the divine, nor the growth or addition of myself in any way; rather that it is the ultimate and constant process of letting everything go; of peeling everything away. The undoing of mySELF.
The letting go of fear, hatred, doubt, judgement, and recriminations
of emotional traumas and dramas; of victim and victimizer
of resentments, attachments and expectations
of definition, self-analysis and social programming
letting go of dogma, limiting or restrictive experiential filters and boundaries
of identification, labels, roles, belief systems, thought systems, educational systems.

The letting go of letting go.

And it’s THERE – finally pushing through the membranous tissue capsule of the final frontier (which doesn’t really exist either, so I can let that go too), the last perceptual barrier separating me from the center point of creation; the heartbeat and breath of the ONE source eternal, where I awaken to the truth.
That I AM, in fact, none of it. I am nothing. I AM no thing.

It’s a small but necessary death, the transition always preceding birth, which is yet another act of letting go, perhaps the most elegant, though one that seems to have become twisted and deformed into a projection of ugliness, sickness and fear in our culture. Embracing this death; this new mystery, walking faithfully and fearlessly into the nothingness I am enfolded into loving arms like the long lost beloved I AM.

It sinks in slowly, lingering and intangible. The subtlest perfume, the most sensual secret of all, the first true realization crystallizes and takes form. Like a bubble.
I am nothing
I am everything
I am nothing
I am everything
I AM NO THING
I AM EVERY THING

Whispers become music and I am alive in the sublime! Laughter erupts unbidden and uncontrolled as I get the cosmic joke (nudge nudge, wink wink).
And the situation I once believed unbearable is now bearable – with joy!
The person who was intolerable is now tolerable.
The suffering is temporary. The pain an illusion. It’s all good. Truly. Completely.

Because more than just a reflection of me and the out picturing/projections of my internal struggle, foibles and process, it all really IS ME.

I am the bubble become the sea.